Jan 17, 2009

Falling in love all over again

It's been a long time since I first saw her, and I had no idea then
that getting to know her better bit by bit through the years would
forever change my whole life. I fell in love.

I remember thinking how beautiful she was that first time. And though
from the first time I saw her I never stopped wanting to be with her,
in the beginning I only saw her from time to time, happy to be with
her each time and hardly able to wait to be with her again another
time. I remember going through great lengths just to see her, dropping
everything else for a chance to see her - I thought I could just sit
and stare at her forever.

And then I found myself not able to be away from her anymore - what
can I do? She lured me, seduced me, easily, effortlessly. And just
like any devoted lover, I abandoned the life I was leading, I decided
to be with her forever.

Despite the admonitions of my friends then: it won't last (how can it
not?), that I can never really live my life with her (how can I not
when at that time there I couldn't think of any other life but one
lived with her), that her beauty won't last forever (I believed then,
as I do now, that she existed at all primarily because of her beauty),
I remember how happy I was the day I made that decision - I blissfully
relished each sunrise with her, lovingly watched her go to sleep each
night. With her, I realized who I really was, what I really wanted -
she nurtured me, helped me grow, made me see things the way they
really are.

I knew from the beginning that I was not her only lover, I didn't
mind: as a matter of fact, I was happy about it thinking that the more
lovers she takes, the more defenders and protectors she will have. As
for me, just like anybody who's in love, I couldn't stop talking about
her, I told her story to as many people as I can - her timeless
beauty, her heartaches, her hopes and dreams. I did what I could to
protect her confronting every single threat to her. But alas, it was
not enough.

And soon after I made the decision to live my life with her, she was
brutally raped.

She was stripped naked, abused, neglected, mocked, disgustingly
exploited. Though some of her lovers did what they could to prevent
the crime, the others just stood and watched as the rape happened,
some even ran away and abandoned her.

Looking at her now, her lovers shed tears seeing her ravaged body. She
has been defaced, those who knew her before the rape can hardly
recognize her anymore. Some have even given her up for dead.

But she is alive, barely able to breath but alive. And while there are
those today who would laugh at the thought that this ugly, dirty,
desecrated poor thing was once so beautiful that everyone who laid
their eyes on her was soon under her spell, awed by her magnificence,
her elegance, her allure. Some say that's gone forever, some say she's
hopeless.

I don't think so. Though she can never be what she was before, with
the help of her numerous lovers, one day the rape will be stopped and
she can rise again in all her splendor. I'm in, I have no choice, I
have fallen in love.

And when that time comes, I know that I, for one, will fall in love
with Baguio all over again.

1 comment:

cyndirellaz said...

i knew it! it's baguio! ^^ hoping govt officials will do something to it bago pa ito mawala..